Twenty Fourteen : In Review

This past year was monumental.  I bought a car, moved 800 miles from home, had over six different jobs, and my personal favorite, Nick and I got engaged.

( Real engagement pictures coming soon! )

It took almost the whole year, but I finally reached contentment with being away from Guatemala. I still can't get over how much I fell in love with that little place in three months. Anyway, I received healing this year. 

America is awesome and I am so glad I am here for this season. 

I somehow landed a job at Red Tractor Pizza. This crew challenged my faith in extreme ways. At the same time, they showed me a lot about community and persistence that I wish more believers could grasp. My time at Red Tractor is over, but I refuse to give up my title as Craft Manager / Box Lady. 

This happened and it was so good. We were all equally disappointed that the small pony was not nearly as exciting as Little Sebastian ( May he rest in peace ). It only took 500 times around on the Ferris Wheel before we finally got this picture, but I'm glad we got it because this is easily in my top 5 pictures from the year.

 There were a few months were I saw these friends almost everyday. We had a lot of good coffee and a lot of good, hard conversations. We sometimes just sat together all working on different things, not saying word.

It's good to have friends like this.

( Not Pictured : SO )

I moved to Fargo, North Dakota because I'm in love & I am so glad I did.

 I also went to a lecture about Architecture because I am super super super in love. 

One of my favorite humans came to spend a week with me in Montana. We picked berries, threw a waffle party, hiked mountains, went to a national park, and obviously ate a ton. 

One of the sweetest weeks of the whole year. 

I fell more in love with my creator because that's bound to happen when you spend a lot of time outside in Montana. Seriously though, how majestic is our king! 

I also managed to love and like this guy even more than I did last year. This next year, we will be united. We will be one. We will be married. WHUUUT. So good. He was even more comforting, understanding, gentle, patient, and handsome than he was in the past years. He is the best human and I am so excited for everyday with him. We will get to be one during new jobs, internships, breakfast, Sunday school, trivia night, weekends, thanksgiving, production week and other stuff too. Some of it's really fun and some is really boring. Regardless, we get to do it together.

After this year, I am more in love with this gracious gentle warrior. 

May 2015 be rich in prayer, quiet mornings, and kisses.

We're Getting Married.

Here's what happened. Nick and I were back in Bozeman for Thanksgiving. We had been spending most of our time with our families because well, that's why we went back. The weeks leading up to our trip we talked about how much we love the mountains. Nick told me that every time he goes back to Bozeman he is caught off guard by how huge and majestic the mountains are. The Friday after Thanksgiving, we decided to drive out to the house he grew up in. We drove by his house and talked about how weird it is that the people living there currently are strangers. It's really really weird. Anyway, we kept driving up to a spot where Nick and I walked to often in high school and during Nick's holidays home. It overlooks Bozeman and has a stunning view of the mountains, especially at sunset. Nick brought his guitar with and we started by singing Come Thou Fount, one of our favorites. It is easy for me to worship when I am with Nick in the mountains. Nick then asked if he could play me another song he had been learning. I agreed, of course, and he began to play and sing truly one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard. He wrote it. For me. When the song ended Nick was on his knee and he asked me to marry him. Obviously, I said yes. Like, I seriously don't think I even needed to write that sentence. 

So now we are actually, for realsies getting married. No more "We've talked about it...someday we hope to". We are actually going to be wed. 

On May 25, 2015, Nicholas Jacob Braaksma will be my husband. 

Our hearts are expectant of all the Lord is going to do in this short season of engagement and in the much longer season of marriage. May our love point directly to the one who is truly worthy.

Recently > October

I started tutoring some elementary kids this week. There are four kids in my group, three from Nepal and one from Somalia. They have beautiful names, loud voices, and love to point out their countries on the map. I've been telling people it's like Lame Deer kids club mixed with Guatemala public education thrown into a bunch of kids from Nepal. Sounds crazy, right? Well, it is. But, if you know me at all you know how deeply I love Lame Deer and Guatemala. When I told my Dad that he said "Sounds like you have some experience!"  We both laughed, but really really. Thank you Jesus for the preparation that was being done in Lame Deer and in Antigua for what is happening now.

Daycare is still so fun. Sometimes I forget that these children are not mine. One of our kids rambles a lot, but never says real words that we can understand. Well yesterday he walked up to me with a star puzzle piece in his hand and said "Star". Needless to say, I was an extremely proud childcare giver. Also, one of the babies is starting to eat cereal and another is learning to roll.
Seriously, so proud. Way to go, boys.

Everyday I see people around town that I swear I know. Last week at church I actually told someone I recognized them and he was like "uhmmm..I don't think so" and then straight up turned away. Erk.

I finally found a coffee shop that I love. Sometimes, I go to this one coffee shop that's near my apartment and I order a small drip. More than once they have looked at me and said, "A what?"
Once, the lady got her manager and the manager looked at me and said "Drip? A drip of what? What do you mean by drip?" Apparently it's not a universal term. Anyway, I found a place I love and it's tucked away in the basement of a cool building downtown. Their syrups are homemade so they are extra delicious and fresh and unique. Most recently, I had a Basil Vanilla Latte. It was hands down one of the best lattes I have ever had. They know coffee. They know real flavor. Hallelujah.

I really really really really like my boss. It feels weird to call her my boss because she is so nice, generous, and asks for my input. She does an outstanding job at making me feel valued and listening to any suggestions I have. She backs me up when I have to discipline the toddlers, lets me use her coffee maker everyday, gives me delicious recipes, invites me to her daughters birthday party, and sometimes we wear the same outfits. Also, she wraps the babies up like little burritos and they instantly stop crying and fall asleep. A mother's touch.

Diwali, an Indian Holiday, was celebrated recently. I had the honor of going to the NDSU Diwali festival with some friends from Threshing Floor to see some of our Indian friends dance and sing in the performance. There was a meal after the show and then dancing. I learned very quickly that Indians like their music loud and their food hot. It was seriously an amazing night. Also, praise God for naan. Seriously.


I'M GOING HOME IN THREE WEEKS. Nick and I decided to go back to Bozeman for Thanksgiving. Here's to a weekend full of pizza and coffee and mountains. We're coming for you Red Tractor, Coldsmoke, and the Bridgers! Also, we will be seeing our families. ;)

It's been said many many times, but I am so happy to be here. I am starting to really love Fargo.

My heart is full.

Also, there is a wall covered in bras downtown. It's really weird and really awesome. 

Soaked, Drenched, Flooded

Last night, I went to Pink House. ( It's a rad ministry that brings American and International students together to hang out, eat, and play games.)  I met a guy from Mexico and got my Spanish fill. I talked to some friends from Germany and Saudi Arabia about their role in tonight's Diwali festivities. Then, I met a girl from Kenya who has lived in the US for 10 years but has only been in Fargo a few weeks. A sister can relate. Also, her name was Grace. I also talked to a man from India. He said I was the first American to ever pronounce his name correctly the first time. Yessssssss. We talked about Diwali and Holi and how American holidays are hard for people who don't have family near. This all happened in one night! Pink House is so so good.

But, before Pink House, I met with Threshing Floor to pray before we headed over. In my mind, I envisioned your typical "popcorn prayer". Nope, nope, nope. We put a chair in the middle of the room and one by one each person sat in the chair. Then everyone put their hands on the person sitting and prayed for them. My hand was shaking and my heart was racing and I maybe cried. Okay, I definitely cried. We had praised God for new jobs, prayed for healing, prayed for continual growth in friendships and that we would chase after the face of the Father. When it was my turn, I was secretly dreading the silence that was to come. These people have only known me a few weeks. Sometimes I forget that God doesn't need time to work. So they started to pray for me.

Thank you for her relationship with Nick.

We pray for energy while she works with the kids.

Give her clarity on the questions she has.

God, we are glad she is here.

Wait, wut.

I'm not sure how to write what I felt after hearing that. After Guatemala, I had community withdrawals. I felt like I was in a drought. Last night was one of the first times since Guatemala that I felt flooded. And in a very very very good way. Also, Nick wasn't there. The Lord chose a night where the man I moved to Fargo to be with,was out of town. As much as I wanted him here, it was a sweet moment where I got to experience this family the way he has the past two years. I do not deserve this encouragement and acceptance from this group. I am constantly learning what grace looks like. Threshing Floor has already been used to remind me that grace is one of the most precious gifts.

I am soaked, drenched, and flooded in the graciousness, goodness, and faithfulness of the one who has placed me into a very special family.


My cup overflows.

Fargo, NoDak.

I've been in Fargo for two weeks now and I am still on could nine. Granted, two weeks isn't that long, but still. Cloud nine, baby. I see Nick most days and we don't do much, but we don't have to do much to be totally smitten. Most nights involve him sitting at the table doing homework, and me sitting in the corner on this weird couch/chair/bed thing and reading. We're super in love. 

I'm living in a studio apartment all by myself. No cable and no internet. But, lots of books, a big puzzle, cookies, and a perfect little oven. So, come visit. 

I work at a daycare with the best kids. They call me Greyson, dance to no music, and will devour any food that has been overly processed. 

I've been going to the church Nick has been attending for a couple years now, and I love it. This past week, instead of a sermon, we had a concert of prayer. Everyone was given a list of the ministries in the church and we took time to pray for each of them. All together. Out loud. It was so so so cool. It's a church that worships in different forms, makes prayer a priority, is multi-generational, and is unified. 

Through the same church, there is a college group that meets each week, Threshing Floor. This last week was my first week there and it was equally good. Our time was spent eating, talking, singing, and praying for each other, together. 

Also super important, Bollywood night. Nick has a friend who is from India and he's invited us to two bollywood movie nights since I've been here. The first movie was nearly 4 hours long. There was a wedding, a baby, a secret love affair, and tragedy. Like, real tragedy. Right before the movie ended, the Wife/Mom fell down a huge flight of stairs and hit her head. Spoiler Alert : She dies in the hospital. But, the movie still ended with dancing. 

So basically, its's good to be here. Time with Nick is rich. The church is feeding me. Threshing floor is the community I need. And Bollywood night keeps it fresh. 

My little home.

Best looking usher at church.

This is how one of the Bollywood movies ended.

Always Faithful

Fall is a special season. It tends to bring forth a lot of change and not only in the color of leaves or temperature. Last year, fall came when I left for Guatemala. This year, I'm gearing up to go to Fargo.

Yes, Fargo, North Dakota. Yes, I know it's cold there. Yes, I'm choosing to go. No, I haven't seen the movie. And finally, Yes, I know that following my boyfriend to an ice cap is risky. He's worth it. I promise.

Up until yesterday, I felt I had been doing a good job trusting the Lord with all my housing plans. I didn't know where I was going to live, but I knew The Lord would provide. He always does. But yesterday, three days before the move date, I freaked. Come on, God. Why haven't you provided? I had so  much faith. Why didn't you prove yourself? Thankfully, his spirit is alive in me and reminded me of something that brought forth peace.

God's faithfulness does not end three days before moving.

His faithfulness never ends.

I set a timeline for when God had to provide b and when he didn't stick to my date, a rage of ugly distrust came out in me. Later that night, Nick called me ecstatic. He found a place for me to stay while I looked for an apartment. I was then reminded again by the Holy Spirit that the Lord's faithfulness does not end. Not three weeks, three days, or three hours before I pull into Fargo.

God is faithful.

Always.

three years

When Nick and I first started dating his sister handed down some real truth : 

If God is at the center, it'll work.

Thanks to a gracious God, it has worked.

& thanks to a gracious God 

Nick is gracious, extremely patient, gentle, holy spirit led, and consistent. 

That's why we've made it three years. 

We've also made it because the past three years have been filled with...

fun things 

cool places 

 & good friends.

My prayer for this next year is that we would celebrate time together, love each other more richly, and be constantly reminded of the gracious God that allowed us to happen.

Round 3

It doesn't get easier.

I lie to myself often telling myself it's not as hard as the last time, but it is. 

Nick is off to school for his third year at NDSU as an architecture student. When I sent him off this morning, it was 47 degrees and raining heavily. The weather conditions certainly didn't help hold back the tears. 

As much as I hate it, our past two years of being apart have brought forth so much fruit. As individuals we have met new depths spiritually, we've made other friends, and we've learned that technology is seriously a blessing. As a couple, we have loved each other more deeply and more uniquely than we ever would have if we weren't long distance. 

My confident expectation is that this will never end cause it's seriously so good. Like outta this world good. 

This is my prayer for this next season: 

We would share our sufferings and comforts with Christ, other friendships would bloom, and that we continue to learn how to better love. 

giant

To me, Nick is a giant. 

His presence may not always be known to others but he is huge. He carries with him a gracious spirit that he pours onto others selflessly. 

On a recent hike, I was in awe of Nick. He's a leader, he's strong, gentle, bold, quiet, and lovely. His love is hard for me to understand because there's no end to it and no limitations to who receives it. 

He is a giant. 

While we were on this hike I kept thinking about my best friend, the one I viewed as a giant. My thoughts sounded like this 

"What a man. Wow I love him. He's such a good protector. If we get chased by a bear, I'm convinced we'll make it out alive cause Nick is so agile and strong. I am so lucky. How did I get him? 

He's the best." 

On our way down, I hurried ahead to turn back to take a picture of Nick standing among these huge trees. I took the picture 

and it suddenly occurred to me who is bigger. 

My King. 

My God.

My Savior.

My Creator. 

My Jesus. 

I am forever in awe of my creator. 

Great Outdoors.

I've really been enjoying the outdoors lately. The past five summers, I have been a camp counselor which comes with the responsibility for several little lives. As a camp, we would hike weekly. The stress of watching ten kindergarten girls at once weighed heavily on me and sucked all the fun out of hiking for me. 

Don't get me wrong, I still don't love it. I'm terrified of all animals, and don't enjoy strenuous physical activity. That is basically what hiking is. Physical activity in a dense forest filled with animals. 

However, I do love the sun and I do love my friends. 

We recently went on one of my favorite hikes ever, pine creek. It's not hard and absolutely beautiful. We ate lunch on a rock that was in the middle of a raging river. 

So neat.

We're only a month in and it's already been an incredible summer. 

On these hikes, my heart has been filled with conversations that bring forth life. There's something about being in the wild. There's no distractions, no limits, and nothing to pay attention to other than the God above and the one you're with.